Every time this plays in between my non-DVR programming -- sports -- I find my soul cringing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it just gives me the taste of pretention and someone's kid whose father is rich and famous made this. Now, I have absolutely no proof of that and didn't even bother to look up who directed this - simply my gut feeling. Perhaps intuition from days at film school, surrounded by these types of "filmmakers" on a daily basis.

I mean, what the fuck does this have to do with wanting a Heineken? What happened to the "My New Haircut" dudes that sported the beverage? Remember the pre-Jersey Shore, Jersey Shore viral video about a guido who only drinks Heineken and RedBulls? I'd rather Heineken embrace him than throw this douchey hipster bullshit in my face. One thing's for sure, they would've saved a ton on their budget. Wonder what they paid the girl to chime in with her whiny cliche, "what's hot right now" girl voice? "Sing it out loud, bla, bla, bla, kill me..."

#HopeInLin

The official New York Knick fan, Spike Lee, tweeted my image.  

The Yogi Berra

New York Yankees Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra, who’s famous for his zany zen-like phrases, famously once said, “It ain’t over till it’s over.”  But, according to a local Montclair, New Jersey waitress, Berra is calling it quits.  “He and his wife came in for the Early Bird as usual, and Yogi looked kinda down,” said Cozy End waitress Donna Burrows. 

The eighty-three year old has recently been spotted at Yankees Stadium, as well as the YES Network, but has never shown signs of deteriorating health.  However, Berra was seen getting up to go to the bathroom at least four times, during an hour and fifteen minute meal at Cozy End.  When asked if everything was okay, Berra replied, “I’d give back half my World Series rings to be able to piss without this pain in my junk.”  In fairness to Berra, his frequent trips could have been prevented had he cut back from the three cups of coffee, and two glasses of OJ. 

“The future ain’t what it used to be.  If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.  A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore,” Berra ranted.  “My prostate feels like a beach ball, and I hate the Beach Boys,” Berra continued. 

“Even his orders were confusing,” said Donna.  “He asked for a heated cold turkey sandwich, with a side of baked French fries.”  Berra ended up finishing half the sandwich, then asked to have the whole sandwich to go.  The scene was not pretty; neither was the smell emanating from his booth.

Before leaving the diner, Berra was asked by a fan, “Whatever happened to the upbeat spirit, ‘It ain’t over till it’s over?’”  To which Yogi replied, “It’s almost over.”

The Jeter Text

I just typed Jeter in my iPhone and it auto-corrected to "heterosexual."  Is he really that much of "the man" that Apple intentionally programmed this?

Not even kidding.  Try it.

The Linsanity

I thought I'd make this to sum up what's been going on in the New York sports scene.

Hope in Lin.

Shit Shit Says

I Don't Know, Like Whatever

I don't know like, I was like, just like whatever, and I don't know like, she was like, I don't know, like...

Yes, we've all cringed inside as we've had to endure sitting next to a person who has no regard for the others on the bus, spewing out incoherent drivel that will never see the light of day in the world of articulation.

This is a short sampling of what must've been an hour tirade, indicating to me, the end of civilization.

Not a word of this is made up -- this is an actual recording of a human female aboard a public bus.

Listen with caution.