Jeter Flirts With Area Female

New York Yankees captain and shortstop Derek Jeter was seen flirting with an attractive female at a trendy Manhattan bar over the weekend. The bar is located in the uprising Tribeca area, and is frequented by athletes and celebrities alike. But no one expected this.

“In the twenty years I’ve known Derek, I’ve never seen such an effort in the public spectrum. To be honest, I was a little embarrassed,” said longtime friend Frank from Hoboken, New Jersey. “Even I’ve adapted the ability to pick up his scraps without the need to exchange cordial words with the opposing woman. It’s a sad day.”

Derek is well known as a womanizer, and has been linked to numerous hot celebrities and models including: Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, and Alyssa Milano. His status as a stellar bachelor has never been in question in the past. However, after this weekend’s blatant display of public affection for what was described as a 9.5 out of ten, many Yankees fans have reasons for concern. Perhaps this could take away from the All Star’s play on the field. With the Yankees new 1.3 billion dollar stadium beginning its first year, this is the last thing fans needed to hear.

“If Jeters out there having to actually talk to hot chicks, it takes away from his concentration on the field. What’s wrong with this broad? Didn’t she know who she was talking to?” exclaimed die-hard Yankee fan, Joe Rossi. “And if Jeters gotta flirt to get some action, what hope do the rest of us have?”

In response to the heavy criticism, Jeter had this to say, “I’ve seen it done in movies and television programs, but never knew the intricacies of actually having to impress a girl with words and such. It’s given me a lot of respect for my fans, and hard working single guys around the world. I just hope I’ll never have to go through this humiliating experience again, and will be happy to return matters to the status quo – a simple wink and a nod.”

On a positive note, Jeter did reject the girl for making him speak and was seen leaving the bar with a solid ten later that night.

Arod Finally Gets Hit Single in October

After receiving countless “Bronx boos,” and criticism in the press, Yankees third baseman, Alex Rodriguez finally drops a single in October. Arod, 2007’s AL MVP, has been known to choke under pressure - specifically in crucial October playoff games. “He can never come up with a hit in October. It’s that simple,” says loyal long-time New York fan and Queens native James Fratto.

Arod’s single has been on the radio stations for over a week now, and is properly titled, “Mo Money, No Problems.” Also on the track is the once again popular rapper Lil’ Wayne, who has been a resurging artist in the Hip-Hop community. “I don’t like to disappoint my investors,” Arod said in reference to the countless Yankee fans that fund his astronomical salary. “I decided to collaborate with hit producer Timbaland, and finally generate a hit in October. I hope this puts an end to the criticism that has tarnished my career for the past decade,” Arod said. As of now, Arod’s single has yet to turn into a hit.