Monday, February 22, 2010

The Street Performers

Just what I’ve been looking for, a meaningless dance session in the middle of a crowded intersection. Let’s all gather around and gawk at performers, as they do back flips and somersaults to an over played Michael Jackson song. Who is Billie Jean anyway? Or is it Billie’s jeans? There’s an easy pedophilia joke in there somewhere, but I’ll let the man rest in peace.

Did that guy just stand on his head, while another guy did a flip over his feet? Holy shit, get the kids, we need to take a picture of this. Wow, New York City is so exciting! I could stand here and watch this all day, without regard for people who live here everyday and are no longer fazed by the dancing, and are just trying to go about their business in an orderly manner. How do I hit record on this thing?

I just love they way they clap their hands in unison. It really brings a sense of camaraderie to the surrounding spectators and myself. I feel like we should all clap at the same time and smile. This is so much fun! It’s like I’ve forgotten all the problems in my life, by simply giving in to this simultaneous clapping session.

How old is that little boy? He can’t be older than seven. How can he do all these wonderful dance moves? Oh, they want us to all move in closer now. Well, they seem to have full authority on street traffic, so I suggest we listen to them.

How long is this clapping going to last? My arms are starting to tire. How did this all start in the first place? I thought we were here to watch them perform. Now, I feel as though I’m part of the act. Weren’t we supposed to meet someone at six? What time is it? I think I’m going to stop clapping now. That guy over there with the windbreaker stopped like a minute ago. Yes, I’m going to stop clapping now. I don’t need to smile anymore either, do I? I mean they won’t mind if I transition back to my neutral face, will they?

Perhaps we should get going now. It’s getting pretty crowded. Are the cops here to watch, or are they going to break this up? What does that guy want with the basket? Oh, he’s collecting money? No, I wasn’t really watching you guys. I was actually trying to get through. We’re meeting someone for dinner at six. I don’t have any bills on me. I’m sorry. I only have my credit card. You don’t take credit card do you? I’m sorry man.

Good thing we got out of there. I almost accidentally pulled out a five, when I fake searched for money in my pocket. Of course I have money on me. Who doesn’t carry money around? It’s not like I wanted to see them perform. They just so happened to be in my way as I was on my way to dinner. I can see if I went somewhere to see them. But, I’m not paying them for randomly performing in the street. They weren’t even that great anyway. I feel bad for that little boy. Isn’t there a child labor law against that sort of thing? Oh no, this guy on the corner is playing drums on buckets. Let’s cross the street so I don’t have to awkwardly ignore him while he asks for money.