Travolta Is Not Gay

Now there have been rumors swirling and groping allegations about my man, John Travolta, claiming the legendary actor is gay. Are you kidding me? Did you see the way he danced in Saturday Night Fever? Did you see his musical theater abilities in Grease? Hello? I mean look at the way he had so many girls as friends. Are you going to tell me that's the tendency of a gay man? Listen, I ask you to look at him in this picture from the musical Hairspray and honestly tell me that's a gay man. Go ahead. I dare you to try. Are you looking? I am. Oh, actually, wait a second....

Anna Faris is Prego With Chris Pratt

 

I'm usually not one to do the whole celebrity gossip, but from time to time I will. This particular story caught my attention because I was just speaking with the actress the other week. It appears Anna Faris and her husband, Chris Pratt, are having a baby.

When asked about having babies before this news broke Anna said,

"I don’t know if you’ve seen my husband's head. He has the head of a globe. He really has one of the biggest heads I’ve ever seen.  And I just keep thinking, oh, man, how does like a woman give birth to a baby with that genetic build."

  

Well, looks like someone's having a C-section...

Every time this plays in between my non-DVR programming -- sports -- I find my soul cringing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it just gives me the taste of pretention and someone's kid whose father is rich and famous made this. Now, I have absolutely no proof of that and didn't even bother to look up who directed this - simply my gut feeling. Perhaps intuition from days at film school, surrounded by these types of "filmmakers" on a daily basis.

I mean, what the fuck does this have to do with wanting a Heineken? What happened to the "My New Haircut" dudes that sported the beverage? Remember the pre-Jersey Shore, Jersey Shore viral video about a guido who only drinks Heineken and RedBulls? I'd rather Heineken embrace him than throw this douchey hipster bullshit in my face. One thing's for sure, they would've saved a ton on their budget. Wonder what they paid the girl to chime in with her whiny cliche, "what's hot right now" girl voice? "Sing it out loud, bla, bla, bla, kill me..."